I found myself waiting for someone in a public place. Apparently, I was waiting for the Italian Cultural Attache.

The Attache turns up, immaculately dressed, and I greeted him, apparently dressed in my ordinary street clothes. The Attache behaved as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

The Attache had come to me out of courtesy. I'd been asking about gaining access to historical documents about Florence in Italy, and he'd been smoothing the bureaucratic process and unruffling a few feathers.

And then he asked me "You said you had brought along a plus one."

I looked around, and there she was. Jodie Whittaker, the actress. Naked, apart from heels and a matching handbag. She stood alongside me and lit up a cigarette.

Sometimes, my dreams are my only salvation from terminal boredom.

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