The Home & Away Hypnotist

Non-Brits, note that the "Home & Away" to which I refer is an Australian TV soap opera. Mum can't get enough of it.

I had, by the time of this dream, starred in a one-off event TV episode of Home & Away, where the Aussie cast had come up to Wales to enjoy the scenery, and I make an appearance as a rogue hypnotist - a hypnotherapist who got struck off for unethical practices. Bad guy sort. Troublemaker.

Now the thing is, a few weeks down the line, the producer and director had invited me to appear in the soap in Australia, down in the show's setting of "Summer Bay," so I turn up on the show, getting off some bus in nearby Yabby Creek, ask a local where Summer Bay is and enquire if there's transport there.

I next climbed out of a taxi, with my cases, and go and find the house I had bought in cash apparently. I was some sort of a rich louche rogue hypnotist, apparently, who could buy homes like packets of sweets.

The thing was, as a hypnotist for real, I had been told by the producer and director that I should trance the actors for real. They were not to act in any way, and as a matter of fact they all had scripts which led them to believe that I was some sort of harmless, if slightly crap, stage magician who was perfecting a new magic routine. What made my job easier was that half of them had already been thoroughly entranced by me six weeks beforehand and post-hypnotic anchoring triggers implanted in their psyches, and I know for a fact that my triggers can last for more than two years between triggerings (some of my more successful clients have permanent triggers!), so re-trancing them was as easy as commanding them to sleep.

They had literally no clue. Not even when I commanded them in their tranced state to remove their clothes (the cameras panned round so as to show their backs when they denuded themselves) and they obeyed. Me, I enjoyed watching them from the front because you might as well enjoy your handiwork.

I even got the actress who plays a cop in the show to disrobe for me. That was actually fun for the actress as much as it was for me; apparently, the actress had a fetish for being tranced. Some people like having others hypnotise them and instruct them to do erotic things. Who'd have thought?

The alarm went off and woke me, just as the good news came down the line that there was going to be a special live edition of the show coming in a few weeks, and it would be centred around my using hypnosis to build a base of believers and collect a cult of devoted dupes.

Juggling

I was in the back yard of my old house, back when there was a garden there. The cops had those flying police cruisers from The Fifth Element, and one of them was flying around looking for me.

As I watched, the thing came down on me at a steep angle from above, only to swoop away at the last minute. Buzzing me for kicks. It did this a second time, again for laughs, just to see me flinch or respond somehow.

The third time, though, I could sense that this was going to be an attack in earnest. No more cat and mouse. So I did something. The car stopped in mid-flight, held in place like a fly in a spider's web of invisible forces. I gestured, and the car moved. I waved the car about in the air, some fifty feet above my head, like a flag.

Across the road from me, one of my neighbours was an American Facebook friend of mine, whom I'll call Tami. I could see her ascending on a broomstick in the yard next door. She had two cop cars under her control, holding on to them telekinetically with one hand while controlling her flight with the other.

I had a long strip of white cloth - a felt pelmet - and I telekinetically rolled it up into a long, thin, rigid pole which I mounted and rode like a staff into the sky. Drawing level with Tami, we faced one another and began juggling the cop cars between one another.

And that was the rest of the dream. Tami and me, flying like witches and wizards in the air, juggling cop cars with telekinesis.

That was as far as the dream got before the alarm went off.