Set Voice To Stun

I was at a SF convention, and the fans were out in force. I was an estabished author of science fiction books, and I'd started up some sort of book series about psychic agents in the far future.

The series was a tribute to the late James H Schmitz' Hub series, featuring an all-female cast of powerful agents, most notably Telzey Amberdon, a PSI 18 telepath: a true prodigy. My series was a homage to that, and it was set in my own shared universe.

So I was going up some stairs just off the main hall. Apparently, there were either more dealer rooms on the upper storey, or quarters for the guests. The stairs were brightly-lit, painted a creamy yellow, and there were crowds of students on the stairs.

I was on my way out when this drunken yahoo, looked like some sort of actor, came along and stood on the island halfway up the steps where they turn around, and began some sort of tirade at me about how science fiction was silly, made-up, kids' shit unfit for a proper consideration by the media, and how preposterous my ideas were.

I stood there a moment, as the moron actor went back to their stall. Then I just quietly went down the stairs. The young people on the stairs parted like the Red Sea to let me pass. They could see that I was pissed off mightily.

I found the halfwit's stall, and stood there, surrounded by his fans, and turned my voice volume to maximum.This is what I said ...

'Of all the asinine suggestions I have ever heard, the spurious claim that science fiction is an unworthy storytelling medium is the most absurd, the most specious, and the most lacking both in factual truth and necessary imagination.

'If it hadn't been for the incredible minds of authors such as Arthur C Clarke and Isaac Asimov, Mary Shelley and Ursula K LeGuin in imagining speculative futures, the world would be a far, far poorer place. People of all ages and genders got into solid, practical STEM careers on the back of science fiction.

'So many advances in engineering, space drives, robotics, artificial intelligence, medicine, biology, mathematics and technology only came about because some kid picked up a cheap pulp magazine, or read a book, or watched a show like Star Trek or Babylon 5, and dreamed of making their tech real - and then other kids saw their present day, and dared to dream of an even more wonderful future, and damn me again if more kids picked up those books or watched those shows, and wanted to make a future work for them, where there is BIPOC and ace and LGBT representation, and a Black woman can work on a Starship and not be a maid.

'Science fiction is the roadmap. STEM graduates are the travellers on the road, forging new roads, and don't you ever disparage a future of enfolding tech wonders that gave you your fucking job, you stultified wretch!'

I then turned to look at the absolutely silent hall. Every single face was turned to look at me as if I were wearing an octopus for a wig or something, but that's a dream for another day.

All I said at that point was to say 'Thank you for coming to my TED Talk,' followed by miming dropping a mic and walking out to thunderous applause.

I woke up at that point. I had to check to make sure I hadn't actually said any of that rant out loud in my sleep.