Locked in

I'd been invited to attend a gala wedding. A beloved friend was getting hitched. A blonde. It seems that, in my dreams, I have a type.

I turned up in my best bib and tucker, and somebody guided me into a side room with the promise of snacks.

The snacks were a lie. They shut the door behind me and locked me in.

So I meditated alone in the room for two hours, while the wedding itself took place just outside the room. Another person, a real friend, unlocked the door, and let me out. They'd had to move some furniture out of the way - someone had tried to bar the door with a sofa as well as locking it. I was released just in time to see my old friend, dressed in white, leaving the room, newlywed husband in tow.

Some of my so-called friends turned up, claiming to have arranged for my imprisonment in the side room. One of them said that it was to prevent me using hypnosis to make the bride and groom walk around naked or something like that.

They sounded so smug, until I asked them why the fuck they'd invited me in the first place.

They told me they hadn't - it had been my friend the bride who'd invited me, and they'd bit their lip rather than object, so they'd hatched this scheme to bundle me out of the way and lie to my friend, telling her I'd declined my RSVP and not bothered to show at the last minute.

A pity that the true friend, the one who'd moved the sofa away and let me out, had put their whole conversation on his phone, and that the live call had gone through to the bride's phone. She'd got it all, loud and clear.

I woke up before anything else could happen. But if she'd found out, I can't imagine the following few minutes would have been very pleasant for the schemers.