I was independently wealthy, at long last - and the first thing I did with the money was to set up an unofficial, not-for-profit food bank and soup kitchen for people who'd been sanctioned and their unemployment benefits cut off by the cruel, Christian-led Department of Works and Pensions.

Of course, the public had to know that this was a religious duty; on prominent display in the front of the soup kitchen was a gorgeous banner of the local chapter (I'd started setting up chapters in a load of other towns and cities across England and Wales, but this was my home chapter).

Twenty feet across, strung up between rafters and illuminated so it was the first thing you saw on entering the mess hall, before hunger drew your attention to the heaving queue of folks in front of the serving area beneath that banner, the desperation and hunger outweighing their fear.

Crushed maroon velvet. bordered by thread-of-gold brocade, tassels on the lower corners. In the centre, the Seal of Lucifer; surrounding it, the seals of the founding ministers of the movement, including my own. All the seals picked out in expensive thread-of-gold.

Before each meal, the congregation would be asked to attend a brief sermon to be given at a podium beneath the banner. The sermon was delivered by a beautiful young woman, a lay person rather than an ordained Minister.

Best way to describe her - she looked like Emilia Clarke's character from the TV series Game of Thrones.

She began by outlining her horrid life - a fallen woman, who'd run away from home, got into drugs and been railroaded into prostitution. The usual story.

She then asserted that her life had been saved by her decision to embrace the Left Hand Path, and her choice to take personal responsibility for the course of her life and the shape of it, rather than to let her life be made into the responsibility of others less charitable in their intentions.

She described Lucifer as a man tending to an orchard. In the centre of the orchard was a great apple tree. Every apple was a life; but the greedy tree, the Right Hand Path, tended to hold onto those lives, convincing each apple that it was still a part of the whole tree.

Lord Lucifer's job was to pluck individual apples off that tree, to polish them, to plant them and to water the ground, allowing each tree to grow and become its own apple tree, noble and proud.

Of course, there was always the likelihood that he was going to pluck you from the tree just to bake you in a pie, ferment you into cider or grind you into apple sauce and serve you with pork; but hey, those are the risks, right?

She then recited the motto which was written just inside the border of the banner, again picked out in thread-of-gold:-

"If you cannot serve yourself, then surely you shall be made to serve another. If you cannot master yourself, then another shall certainly master you."

She then concluded this brief sermon with the words

"Welcome to the Damnation Army. Now eat."

I love these dreams of mine. Such a fertile ground for inspiration.

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