Join Me!

I was a leader, surrounded by young, fit, healthy men and women.

They could well have been men and women I had enslaved from one of my previous dreams - perhaps also the Temple dream.

There was a press conference. I was standing up for my people against baseless accusations, with worldwide press coverage of this live conference, and every major world TV network waiting on my every word.

One reporter asked me if the Join Me! cult - apparently, that was the cult I'd established - actively recruited men and women through hypnosis and intimidation. I replied that they were mutually exclusive approaches - you cannot hypnotise someone who is afraid of you, therefore those who join me cannot possibly be afraid of me.

The next reporter then asked me if that meant that I do use hypnosis on my people. I told them that I do. This caused a huge stir among the assembled reporters, and some angry outcries from the fringes.

I pointed to the phalanx of security and gestured for them to go towards the hecklers. A moment later, they brought forward two mature women from the back of the crowd. I looked at the press cameras.

"Who brought two mothers to this conference?" I asked them. "Was it one of the Murdoch papers? Daily Mail? It had to be one of those." I looked at the angry women. "Mumsnet?" By their reaction, I knew I had them pegged.

I gestured again, and a young man and young woman, both slender and beautiful, stepped forwards from the crowd of cultists and approached their parents. I looked at them, catching their eye, and told them that they were free to go home with their parents and, if they wished, never to return. The man went with his Mum. The girl shook her head, embraced her Mum and stayed. I continued talking to the press.

"I go by the ABCDEF scale as my guide," I said, citing the Advanced Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Frame. "My people receive accommodation, protein-rich diets, access to libraries, the internet, colleges - if there are students who wish to join, they get residence here rent-free for the duration of their study, and also during each intersemester hiatus - Christmas, Easter, Summer - providing they help out as volunteers during those breaks.

"Everyone is encouraged to read, pursue a sport or a hobby, visit libraries, seek romance outside the Temple - even leave, if they wish it. They receive health screenings, pregnancy screenings - free condoms and contraceptives are given to those who seek them, even if they are not joiners."

Then I woke up, and found myself wondering. They say that the head of any cult is a single man who knows that it is a scam. But what I came away with after this was the distinct sense that Join Me! was, in fact, something genuine - something amazing.

And that it felt bloody wonderful to be the boss.

Related to this dream:-

Cult Leader

The Temple

Ministry